WIP Wednesday

[firethesound]

Really struggling with my fandom feels this week, namely because JKR continues to be a sentient pile of flaming garbage. This has been true for a while, and for a while it's felt like enough to not buy any HP merchandise or engage with any new content. Fandom felt like something separate from that. But lately I've been feeling very conflicted over whether I even want to keep writing HP fic, or continue to be a part of HP fandom. I don't want to leave, I love this pairing and this world, and I have several hundred thousand words of unfinished fic I'd really like to keep writing, and it's really hard to walk away from something I've poured so much time and energy and love into, and was such a big part of my life for so long. But she's truly awful, and shows no signs of ever becoming less awful, and it's started to feel like even this little bit of indirect support is too much. I really don't know what to do.

Anyhow. WIPs.

New words this week : 2937 words and they may be over the place but they're there.

WIPs worked on this week : 2, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
☆ If It's Not Rough : 300 words which brings the total to 4769 words and I've got the beginning done, and the ending mostly done, and just need to get through the smutty, smutty middle.


The Old Guard
☆ Old Guard Misc. : 2637 words which brings the total to 23,090 words and I'm still just throwing words at about ten different fics.

Comments

[torino10154]

I've been having similar feelings. Bit of a ramble but here goes:

I suppose at some point it's inevitable that I'll just have to walk away. For the time being, and I do suppose it's rationalizing a bit, I'm still enjoying writing/participating in fandom and I figure if I keep playing with her toys in ways she wouldn't approve of, that makes me doubly happy. Also, I think about some of the actors--Chris Rankin in particular--who is very loudly supportive of the trans community but also obviously continues to do official HP-sanctioned things. I think for some people who do still love HP seeing allies like that can be helpful though I also understand that may not be true for everyone. I realize the works themselves are not without issues but for the moment it's primarily the author not the books I am objecting to and she can fuck off forever.

[nocturnus33]

I have thought the same thing. Like you, I stopped consuming merchandising and anything that could turn into JK Rowling's check. I don't know if it will be rationalizing, but I live my experience of fandom separate from Rowling and Warner. I don't want to wash HP fandom, in 18 years I have seen some very good things and some very unpleasant ones too; but, mainly, I think that fandom has been able to be a space of enunciation for minorities, especially years ago when there were fewer spaces for them. Personally, the 18 years that I have been here have been a beautiful experience. I have met many people that I love, and I have learned to open myself to subjects that were unknown to me almost two decades ago from my small corner of the world. Honestly, 18 years ago; even 10, I had never even heard of trans people. Fandom was one of the first places from which I came into contact with, and learned to respect, sexual dissidence. Chile has changed now, but personally, it was the fandom that allowed me to grow in these topics, before they were more openly discussed in my country.

[walbergr]

Good WIPs! Nearly 3k words in a week is awesome (in my opinion). Good luck on the smutty, smutty middle.

I totally relate to the feeling of ambivalence about engaging in HP fandom. I've never gotten past a freewheeling ideation document on a HP fic document, and I'd definitely find it harder to say goodbye if I was also shutting the books on tons of unfinished work. Even if you're not sure you'll ever go back to it in the normal course of your life that's so different from deciding that you're going to put it in the garbage.

I think you put something on tumblr recently about having not recently revisited the Harry Potter books, and for me that's a big part of the reason I feel shaky on HP fandom -- it feels like the primary material isn't something I will likely ever get back to. I can't read it without just kind of getting a sour taste in my mouth. I know lots of people who don't feel that way (I'm married to one of them). But at this point I feel a little bit like fandom is the primary source material I'm interested in, but it's hard to disentangle. Anyway, sending sympathy, parallel-navel gazing, and hugs (if you want them) to you.

[gracerene]

Ugh, hard relate on the HP struggle--I think that is what made the switch to writing primarily SPN fic so easy and more complete, where previous fandoms had mostly been brief dalliances. I still have several WIPs for HP I want to finish and am casually working on, but I'm not getting bit by new plot bunnies the way I used to--I'm not sure if I'll ever leave entirely, but I suspect I may continue to have my fannish interest more heavily pulled in other directions. *whispers*join me in supernatural*whispers

Still, a decent amount of weekly words!!!

[lyonessheart]

hugs to you - I have long ago dissociated JKR from fandom - she hates Drarry and everything we of the LGBTQ Community stand for. I still enjoy your works and love to be a haven for the older crowd. JK is NOT HP fandom - she is an aweful moneyhungry piece of shit who will have a special place in hell.