On Giving and Giving Back

[firethesound]

It's been about three and a half months since I began posting regularly. And it's been a lot of things for me. Exciting. Exhausting. A little overwhelming, at times. But most of all it's just been fun. I was incredibly nervous, because while I've been in the fandom for over ten years, I've never really been involved before. I didn't really know anyone or how to talk to anyone.

My beta summed it up the best, I think.

It was just after I'd posted Matchmaker, Matchmaker and it got recced all over the darn place, and I was in full-on neurotic meltdown mode because "omg people like it!" and "omg people are talking about me!" and "what if I can never write anything this good again!?" (Fun fact, I'm still terrified I'll never be able to replicate Matchmaker. I was home sick with a very high fever and bundled up on the sofa when I thought to myself "What if Harry's house could talk to him? I bet he'd think he'd gone nuts!" and so I got my laptop and wrote the first half. The next day I was still sick, so I drugged myself to the eyeballs on cold medicine and wrote the second half. And it turned out to be my most popular fic. Apparently I'm at my best when I'm half out of my brain with fever and decongestants.)

Anyhow. I was flailing and panicking, and my beta said to me "It must be strange, like walking into a party after spending years peeking through the windows." And that's a really good way of describing what it felt like. Suddenly I was talking with these people whose writing I've admired for years, and they're telling me how much they like my writing, and in between me freaking out over it, it's been really wonderful. Here I was afraid of being a wallflower, but I jumped in and instead of being ignored, I was told "I'm glad you're here; I hope you stay a while."

I can't even say how much this means to me, especially with all the chaos I've got going on in my personal life. Everyone's been so wonderful and so welcoming, and since it's the season for giving, I want to give something back.

Not to the fandom in general, but to YOU, you sitting there and reading this right now. You, who are one of reasons why the fandom is as wonderful as it is. So if you've ever commented on my fic, or recced my fic, or friended me. If my writing has ever made you smile or laugh, or you've checked my masterlist to see what else I've done, or told a friend, or looked forward to Thursdays. If you've messaged me or found me elsewhere on the internet. If you've ever thought to yourself, "I'm glad she's writing. I hope she keeps writing more."

I want to write something for you. So. Leave me a comment on this entry between now and the end of the year. Give me as much or as little info as you'd like about what you want, or what you don't want. About content, or length, or genre. I have no squicks, so please ask for anything. And I'll write a fic just for you that'll show up at some point in 2014. (Keeping the timeline vague because I honestly have no idea what sort of response I'm going to get to this.)

(This means you too, catplusfox! If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't have started writing again. And even if I had, and had gotten the nerve up to start posting on my own, I can say with 100% certainty that I would have quit again by now. You put up with me being a flailing wreck of insecurity with far more grace than I probably deserve.)

Comments

[eidheann_writes]

The LJ HD fandom is amazingly supportive and wonderful. Like you, I was a lurker for close to a decade before I made this account to try writing. I've made some wonderful friends, spoken to some incredible individuals, and had coffees with... not as many as I might like, but I love it all the same.

I am all the squee for this fandom and everyone in it. (Including you. <3 I'm glad you're here. I really enjoy your stuff.)

[firethesound]

::high-fives fellow lurker-turned-writier::

I have all the love for fandom, and squee, and flails. (And while we're saying nice things about each other, I'm going to mention that I've just reread A Year on the Wizarding Convention Circuit for the fourth or fifth time because I like it so much.)

Er, so.... do you want a fic? :D

[geneva2010.livejournal.com]

You are a darling. I have been in the fandom about 5 years, and started my livejournal account in early 2010. It has been a fun ride. I think in 2014, there will be very little time for Harry and Draco. I am so, so busy in my personal/professional life, but in a very good way that I'm excited about. Yeah, that's vague. Anyhow - I will give you author's choice, something H/D, something sweet, something a bit risque to smutty, and something short, but not too short - maybe about 2000+, and I won't object if it goes over.

Make sure you let me know when it posts - I am getting so, so behind on things and I wouldn't want to miss it!

[firethesound]

Aw, I'm excited that you're excited! Hooray for things, even vague things! :)

Hm. Sweet, smutty, short. I'm going to have to brainstorm this. I'll definitely let you know when it goes up!

Thank you for being so sweet to me and for all of the lovely comments you've left on my things.

[lyonessheart.livejournal.com]

Oh wow :) reading this made me tear up - because I have been reading in this fandom for close to 15 Years now and yes that means I started befor the turn of the millenium and I have always admired the great artist in this fandom. I have commented sometimes rashly but I have learned to word concerns in a kinder way,

and now I feel like I jumped into icecold water because I have begun to write a fic for a fest and I am terrified that it won´t be good enough. So I am standing at the door not quite in at that party but I want to get in. You encourage me so much with this - because I know now that others feel this way too.

If you really find the time to write something for each commenter, that would be great.

Of course I would love Draco/Harry and I would love it if you show them growing together, somehow I always wanted to read a piece where Draco helps Harry to get over some issues and puts him back together, and I would love to read a baking Draco (I feel baking is somehow mediative) if it is an established relationship or just a start into a hopeful future I would leave up to you. A huge squee factor of mine is Draco with a fringe that falls into his eyes and Harry itching to brush it out of his face.

I like angst but only if it is resolved at the end. And I am an absolute sucker for fluffy moments, and happy endings. And please no gore/rape character death

The lenght is absolutly yours, I would be thrilled beyond belief that someone wrote something for me, anything even if it is just a drabble I would just be happy.

And now I have written an insanely long comment - blushes.

I wish you a wonderful Christmas!!

[firethesound]

Thank you, I love your insanely long comment! I'm glad that this post encourages you; it's always nice to know that you're not alone when you feel like you're being crazy. At least, I feel like I'm being crazy a lot of the time, and then people say "I do that too!" and it makes me feel better. :)

Your request gives me all sorts of ideas for a fic, so I'm going to think on it and see what I can come up with that adds in as many of those things as I can do.

I'm really excited to be writing for people!

I wish you a wonderful Christmas as well. :D

[sophie-french.livejournal.com]

Well, I have really loved Matchmaker, Matchmaker! It's an amazing story!
And I'm really happy to have met you here, along with all the other incredible people on the hd community.
Like I said, it really is a wonderful place, with equally wonderful, supporting, encouraging people, and it feels really good to be a part of it (even if it's only been two months for me!).
So thank you, for your generosity, for your stories, for being around and supportive!

Thank you. :D

[firethesound]

I'm glad to have met you too, you're such a sweetie! And thank you for all of the lovely comments you give me and for all the things you post about too. We really have found the best community. :)

Do you want me to write you a fic? :D

[dysonrules.livejournal.com]

LOL! I'm glad you got this message: I was told "I'm glad you're here; I hope you stay a while." instead of this message: "YOU MAY NEVER LEAVE BECAUSE WE ARE CHAINING YOU HERE."

XD

I love ALL THE THINGS you write, so feel free to add any of my personal kinks to anything you write, which would be GLOVES, chocolate, amnesia, hoodies, light bondage with school ties or magic, one of them straddling the other to have an earnest discussion (I just love that - dunno why), and half-clothed or fully clothed "need you RIGHT NOW" sex. :3

And your beta deserves cookies. SO MANY COOKIES. I would send her some but getting them out of my hands and into the box would be a trick. >.>

[firethesound]

Oh, the message "YOU MAY NEVER LEAVE BECAUSE WE ARE CHAINING YOU HERE." came through loud and clear. I'm under no illusions about the fact that if I ever try to leave, you will track me down and lock me up and make me write you all the things. I think it's easier for everyone involved if I just don't leave, right? :D

And darling. Your requests. I am torn. Almost all of them fit perfectly with one fic idea I've got. The "light bondage with school ties or magic" fits in with a different one. I might try to combine them. I might end up writing you two things.

My beta deserves red carpets and rose petals and a thousand angels singing from on high for having to put up with me being a raving loon, and for knowing when she should pat me one the head and when she should slap me upside it. I fully deserve both, on occasion.

[birdsofshore]

Oh, this post is a thing of joy!

I'll bite your hand off for a fic :DD

Any length that pleases you *fnarrrr*. How about my favourite trope, unwilling arousal? I'm probably happier at the less non-con end of the scale :D but the kind of thing I mean is, should NOT be attracted to this person / in this embarrassing and public situation / at this particular moment, but my body just can't help it.

<33333 Thank you!

[firethesound]

But if you bite my hand off, I'll only be able to write half as fast! Can't you take a foot or something? lol

I have a couple of ideas off the top of my head that'd work for you, but one of them is sort of dub-con with a great big side of angst, while the other's a more fluffy sort of pining with a side of forced bed sharing. ::ponders:: We'll see how I feel when I get there, but if I still can't decide, I may end up doing both. Oh darn, two fics, right?

I was hoping you'd request something. :D

[gracerene]

This is such a lovely, thoughtful idea! I've only really even started reading fics in the past year, but I was too intimidated to even leave comments for the longest time! But I always get so excited whenever you post! And I have LOVED basically all of your H/D fics :) So any fic from you would be lovely! I like happy endings, nothing too angsty, and smut is always a plus. :)

[firethesound]

I get what you mean about being intimidated about leaving comments. I was like that for the longest time (years and years and years wasted!) but I'm really trying to be better about it.

I'm so glad to hear that you get excited when I post something new! Really, I'm sitting here with a great big smile, so thanks for the lovely compliment! :D

Hm. So, happy endings, not too angsty, and smut. That's more or less how I do things, so I think I've got you covered. :)

[kayladie.livejournal.com]

I feel like this post could have been written by me! I've been in the fandom for about 8 years, but I'm not nearly so prolific as you are. I've written a handful of stories and they've been moderately well-received, but sometimes I still feel like I'm peeking in the windows. ;) I have read and enjoyed all your stories, but I'm terrible at commenting. I need to work on that! I would love a story, however long you want it to be and whenever you get to it. I love bonding stories, and creature stories (particularly Vampire!Harry and Veela!Draco, though not both at once, LOL), and I'm a HUGE fan of Severitus stories (could be just Severus mentors Harry, not necessarily actually his son). I do prefer 'how they get together' tales more than established couple, but anything is fine!

I wish that I was a more accomplished writer, because I'd love to try something like this myself, but I'm such a procrastinator, people wouldn't get their stories until about 2020. :p

[firethesound]

I'm pretty bad at commenting, too. Though I'm trying to be better about it! I'm making an effort to comment on everything I read so I get into the habit of it. If I took an hour to read someone's thing, I figure I can add another minute or two to say "I liked this! Yay!" or whatever, lol. (Though that reminds me, I have a few fics I owe comments for. My plan is not flawless...)

And I'm a huge procrastinator too. I'm so easily distracted and with the whole internet right there... Yeah. That's why I did the whole post-every-Thursday thing, and sort of why I'm doing this, too. I need accountability! I need deadlines!

I've done everything I wanted to do with Vampire!Harry when I wrote Blue Sunny Day, but Veela!Draco is something I've been wanting to explore. I've never written Snape, so that might be interesting as well. :)

[bryoneybrynn.livejournal.com]

So, I'm on a MASSIVE reading catch up and have to read many of your fics since my last firethesound-love-fest. But I had to respond to this because your fear about matchmaker made me think of my own writing journey. One of my earliest fics - He Was He and I Was Bunny - is my most popular fic. And I get why. I get why people like it and why a broader range of people like it compared to my other writing. And initially I felt a bit daunted by having to top it. Now I've kind of realized I never will. It irks me a bit in that I don't think the fic is especially well-written but mostly I've realized it doesn't really matter. It's awesome that people like that fic and read any of my fic and really, it's all about enjoying the writing and the sharing. So if Bunny remains the pinnacle and it's all downhill from here, that's okay. Because even the downward slide has been pretty awesome. Plus, what I love about fandom is the interaction. Just like you're talking about. It's the excitement and sharing with others and just the sense of play and wonder and comraderie. I love love love fandom, even though I don't have much time these days. And I love it when people get glomped by the fandom like you have. And it's well deserved - you, my dear, are a very talented writer.

If you get to me, I'd love something bittersweet. But if your dance card is full, just know I love reading all your stuff, regardless of form and content. :)

[firethesound]

I have to admit, I really like the sound of a firethesound-love-fest! :D

It really makes me feel better to know that you've got the same situation going on Bunny that I have with Matchmaker. I think you've got a good approach to it. It really is all about enjoying the writing and sharing, and the interactions with all the great people here!

Thank you so much for the lovely compliment!! I'm still surprised and amazed and a little bewildered that people seem to like my writing this much, because I've never thought of myself as especially talented. (And I've got a file folder full of rejection letters to support that.) I've always thought of my writing as "solid" -- not good, not bad, but able to get my point across -- and it's just always been this thing I do for fun.

My dance card is still open, so bittersweet it is. :) Because I didn't know what sort of response I'd get, my timeline is just "at some point in the next year" so we're still very much within the realm of doable at this point. :D

[capitu]

I love this post so much.

You know, so much of the time I feel like such an outsider because I don't write, I only read and comment, but then something comes along, like you did just now and I'm reminded I am part of something. I'm not just watching, but I'm here too, you know?

I'm so glad you're here, that you're here and writing and sharing all of this. and how awesome *that* is.

It's people like you that make fandom such a brilliant experience. :)

*HUGS*

You shouldn't have said that though! Omg, because I want you to write stuff! Be afraid...

Okay, any of this:

Disability, Memory Loss, Mpreg, Flangst, Smut, Getting together fics, Post Hogwarts, Veela fics.

lol! I told you!

[firethesound]

::tackles you::

Well I'm glad you're here too! And even if you don't write, you're very active in the community with posting and reccing, so you're very much a part of things, and one of the many people that make our fandom so wonderful. :D

I don't think I can get all of that into a single fic, lol, but I'll see what I can do to get most of it in. ::brainstorms::

[catplusfox.livejournal.com]

<333333333
Giirrrllllllll! I feel crazy-lucky that you've let me beta for you! :D You are so extremely talented and I couldn't be prouder of you--you took a running LEAP headfirst into this super fandom and shared your work with everyone, which must have been terrifying because creation is such a personal thing. I am SO so excited that you've received all this positive feedback and love--you deserve the hell out of it!

[firethesound]

::flails::

You really are the best.

For you, I'm going to try REALLY REALLY SUPER HARD to finish Green Apples reasonably soon. Because nothing says "I love you" like "Here's a 120k fic, please edit it for me." :D

[differente.livejournal.com]

I didn't know if I could reply because we have never really interacted, but I do like reading your fics a lot and since you said you could still take more prompts... :P
And since your fics are so incredibly sexy (and also so very good!), do you think I could ask for HD, some humiliation, a bit of orgasm denial, lots of love, and anything else in between you'd like?
In any case, yours was a very nice post and gesture. ♥

[firethesound]

You are a darling. Of course you can reply, and we've interacted often enough that I recognize you.

I have five hours of driving to do next Monday, and I'll give your request some thought then to figure out what to do with it. :D

[kedavranox.livejournal.com]

I'm going to put a little marker here, and then come back and see what I can request. But you don't have to if you get overwhelmed!! :)

[firethesound]

Yay, I'm so glad to hear this! :D

And I think it's funny that people seem so concerned about overwhelming me... Remember, I'm the crazy person that thinks that posting a fic a week is entirely reasonable. You're very sweet to be so considerate, though. ::tackles you:: :)

[playing-perfect.livejournal.com]

Thank you for letting me tag along on this a month late. I did read it at the time but didn't want to put myself forward :-D. I shan't mention overwhelm because you obviously need to keep writing all the time ::wicked grin:: but I won't be offended if you don't get as far as mine. I appreciate your offering whatever.

So H/D obviously. I'd definitely like them as adults, preferably late twenties to mid thirties, so they've had time to grow into themselves and (mostly) deal with the trauma of their pasts, both of them confident except about each other. I like interesting and quirky and pushing limits and it's the interactions between them that I enjoy most. Nothing too easy, but nothing that would traumatise me permanently, and the longer the better.

You may see why I've been enjoying your latest fic, lol. Actually I've loved most of them despite my wicked lack of commenting until recently.

Most of the requests so far sound wonderful (I'm not fond of mpreg or creature fics, just personal preference), so I'd be happy just reading someone else's fic gift, but if I was going to get specific about one for me then at least one of them would be in an unusual but IC career. Their paths wouldn't normally cross but they both keep subtly engineering meeting, neither of them wants to be the one to show sexual/romantic interest first, lots of banter/snark/intensity, a bit of power play, lots of competitiveness. Draco urbane and sophisticated and Harry confident and relaxed, but despite not showing it both still have the insecurity underneath that comes from their pasts. Oh and lots of sex!

[firethesound]

Lol, don't every worry about overwhelming me, because I'm pretty much insane. And I write quickly. Er, most of the time. :D

Your request sounds great, though I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do for it yet. But I've got lots of stuff ahead of it, so that just means loads of time for brainstorming and plotting. :D

It's good that you mentioned no mpreg or creatures. You're safe on mpreg because that's the one thing my beta refuses to read so I probably will never write that, but I do like to poke at the occasional creature fic.

Anyhow. Yes. I will think on this. Yours probably won't show up until very late this year or even early next year, especially because you've requested something longer. But we'll see what I can make happen! Because this: "lots of banter/snark/intensity, a bit of power play, lots of competitiveness" sounds like something I will enjoy the heck out of writing. Plus a long, slow build-up, and then lots of sex? Lolol, twist my arm, why don't you! :P

[pierian.livejournal.com]

:)

I am smiling and smiling because your tag says "I'll feel silly if no one responds," and instead you got a slew of requests. You don't even know how exceptional you are. *hugs* I'm glad you decided to take a leap, that you came back to writing, that our paths crossed.

[firethesound]

Lol, I was really afraid that no one would be interested since I'd only been around for a few months at that point. And then I was a little overwhelmed with how many people did! But totally in a good way. I adore pretty much everyone in this fandom :)

(Since you found this entry, you're more than welcome to leave a request as well. I can't promise I'll get to it this year, but I'll definitely add it to my list!)