stupid and marvelous

2022 Total Wordcount Goal : 8219 / 100,000

2022 Total Writing Days : 21 / 365


FEBRUARY-MARCH-APRIL-MAY
So, hello again! Not much writing has happened recently. To be fair, not a whole lot of anything productive has happened recently, either. I need to stop saying "I think things are getting better now!" because as soon as I do, the universe seems to take great pleasure in slapping me down. Life has been a constant parade of little things, punctuated with a big awful thing just often enough that it feels like I can't even find my footing before it gets knocked out from under me again, and I am so, so tired.


JUNE
Things aren't better, but I'm starting to go out of my mind a little bit from the lack of creative outlet so I'm going to try to get back into the swing of writing again.

June Wordcount Goal : 8k and that might be aiming a little high for not having written anything in months and months, but I feel like I want to write for the first time in ages and I'm hoping for some momentum from that.

June Fics to Focus On
☆ If It's Not Rough : because I didn't get anything posted at all last year and I'd love to get at least one thing done this year. Estimated wordcount, 7k.

☆ ex-HDBB : I'd been making some good progress on this before, and I'm hoping to get back to it. I'm still struggling with lack of enthusiasm, which I guess is understandable since I've been reading and re-reading and re-re-reading etc this thing for almost seven years at this point. I tend to do the bulk of my editing as I go and then just do a lot of polishing as my final editing pass, so the first chunk of it is in good enough shape that I've been toying with the idea of starting to post this thing here on Dreamwidth, adding new chapters as I finish them. Ideally I'd get some comments and feedback, and that'd help build enthusiasm and motivation for finishing, then I'd have the whole thing beta-ed and do a last round of edits and polishing before posting it to AO3. I know Dreamwidth is pretty quiet these days and some people don't like to read WIPs, so I don't know if that's even worth doing or if I'd just be hurling words into the void. (If you are interested in reading along, please let me know!) Estimated total wordcount, 150k.

2021 GOALS

2021 Total Wordcount Goal : 30,840 / 100,000

2021 Total Writing Days : 61 / 120


JUNE
Well this has certainly been a month.

June Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 488 words and frankly I'm pleased to have even got that much. A total of 1 WIP & 1 new work got words, with all 488 going into 2 HP fics.

JULY
My biggest goal this month is to try to get back to writing in any capacity. Early July is always SGDQ where I basically lose Mr FTS entirely for about a week, so I'm hopeful that a week of evenings will be enough to get me back in the habit.

July Wordcount Goal : 4k and that might be a bit too high? But if I can make myself sit down and actually write it should be okay.

July Fics to Focus On
☆ If It's Not Rough : because I would really like to get something finished at some point this year, and a PWP seems like it'll be the easiest way to go. Estimated wordcount, 7k.

☆ HD Fan Fair : soooo I signed up for this. I dropped a couple of prompts and took a browse through what other people had prompted and there was one that jumped out and grabbed me and wouldn't let go, so here I am. I have a few snippets sketched out, but am mostly in the letting-it-marinate-in-the-back-of-my-brain stage with it. Might poke at it a little more later this month but probably won't really get traction on it until closer to the due date because that's how my stupid brain works. Estimated wordcount, not gigantic hopefully.

2021 GOALS

2021 Total Wordcount Goal : 22,883 / 100,000

2021 Total Writing Days : 41 / 120


APRIL
It feels like this month went by in a blink, but it was a productive month! The last half of it I managed to write at least 30 minutes every day and it's always amazing how the wordcount stacks up when I actually... make the time to sit down and write. Obvious, yeah, but something I apparently still struggle with XD

April Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 16,652 words which was short of my goal but by less than 400 words and I'm more than willing to round up and call this month a fucking success! Look at all those words!! A total of 1 WIP got new words, with all 16,652 going into 1 HP fic.

MAY
And the goal this month is to keep up this momentum!

May Wordcount Goal : 18k and I rounded up so it's aiming a bit high to keep me on track for reaching 80% by June 7th. Of the ~17k I wrote last month, 12 of it was in the last half when I really buckled down and made writing every day a habit. So I'm pretty optimistic that I'll be able to do this, so long as I keep on task with daily writing.

May Fics to Focus On
☆ HDBB Fic : I'm in kind of a weird place with it. I'm firmly in the this-is-a-garbage-fic-and-I-am-a-garbage-writer phase of things, and I feel like I'm flailing around and just adding words without adding story, and it just feels too big and too scattered and I'm worried the pacing is all wrong, and why even bother with any of it. But then I read back through it and can't really see any of those issues? Anyhow, I've figured out an alpha reader so hopefully getting some feedback will help sort out what's just in my head and what's actually on the page. Looking to make some big progress on it this month and hopefully get a clearer idea of where I need it to end up to tie off subplots/themes/etc.

2021 GOALS

2021 Total Wordcount Goal : 4780 / 100,000

2021 Total Writing Days : 11 / 120


FEBRUARY
So, back on January 1--which honestly feels like a million years ago by now--I started off the year with a small kitchen fire (no casualties other than my non-stick pan, thankfully) and I joked that it was hard not to take that as a sign for how the rest of the year would go. AND BOY HAS IT. It's just been one thing after another, and they've all been pretty stressful and upsetting in the moment, but so far (::knocks vigorously on wood::) they've all ended up all right. Like, this weekend my car got broken into. Which freaks me out because it was parked all the way behind my house and not visible from the street and the idea of someone lurking around my house very much creeps me out. But it was about the gentlest break in possible; Mr FTS had left it unlocked, and the thief only made off with about $3 in loose change because I don't keep anything valuable in it after the previous time it was broken into at our last apartment. And like, I'd be willing to write it off as someone desperate, godspeed good sir, I genuinely hope that the handful of change you took helps you out. But this absolute asshole left my fucking lights on, which there is absolutely no goddamn reason for and luckily Mr FTS went out there around 6am so it had been a short enough time that the battery wasn't dead. If this had happened literally any other day of the week we wouldn't have gone out there until the afternoon at the earliest, or more likely not for a couple of days, at which point it very well would have been dead and THAT is what I'm most upset about, because it really feels like a bit of a "fuck you" for not having much of anything in there worth taking.

ANYHOW. Life's been one thing after another like that, and I haven't been writing much as a result.

February Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 699 words which was WELL short of my goal, and the only thing that's giving me hope of coming anywhere near my goal for the year is the sheer lack of hours I've been putting into writing lately. Only four days this month had writing and none of them were lengthy sessions. A total of 3 WIPs got new words, with all 699 going into 3 HP fics.

MARCH
And the goal this month is once again to get back into the habit of regular writing sessions. We're going to ease back into it with a re-read of my HDBB fic, and then hopefully start making words on that. I'm aiming for 30 minutes per night, the toughest part of which is making myself actually sit down to do it.

March Wordcount Goal : 3k and I'm aiming pretty low because I'm anticipating the first chunk of the month will be rereading and going over beta notes from the last time I was working on this thing.

March Fics to Focus On
☆ HDBB Fic : I need to give this a reread and ideally come up with a loose outline for what needs doing to finish it off

☆ Stay : I need to reread the earlier parts to refresh my memory on the details, finish up edits, get it beta-ed, and post it.

☆ You Send Me 2 : which I actually pulled out and poked at a little bit after a couple of very nice comments on the first one. This is basically a smutty little coda about Harry getting un-de-aged that I don't think should run me more than a few k (though, famous last words...)

Only one of those last two is going to get done, to meet my yearly goal of finishing and posting one fic per quarter, and whether either of them gets done at all will depend on how HDBB comes along because I WILL finish my reread of it before touching anything else.

2021 GOALS

2021 Total Wordcount Goal : 0 / 100,000

2021 Total Writing Days : 0 / 120


DECEMBER
December is always a bit of a slow month for me, and this was certainly no different. Still, after so long of not writing anything I'm just pleased I was able to keep my momentum going at all!

December Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 3275 words which is actually a bit higher than I usually do during the month of December? Most of them were even on the thing I meant to be writing, though sadly I didn't end up finishing it, as I would have liked to by the end of the year. A total of 3 WIPs got new words, with 1928 going into 2 HP fics and 1347 going into a fic for The Old Guard.


JANUARY
My writing time has been pretty consistent recently, and I've signed up for harrydracobang so I've got a project to really dig into, so I'm optimistic!

January Wordcount Goal : 10k and that's a bit ahead of what I need to average to keep on track for my yearly goal of 100k, but not so far ahead of it that it's unreasonable, I think.

January Fics to Focus On
☆ HDBB Fic : I'm using one of my (many, many) WIPs for this, which I luckily have not talked about in any sort of detail whatsoever. In the interest of maintaining anonymity, I'm not going to say how much of it I've got written and will only be counting newly written words on it. (And as my WIPs range in wordcount from 31 words to 87k, I figure that tallying my newly written words won't be much of a giveaway lol)

☆ There Is Always the Moon : I wrote this for Remix back in 2016 and just found out that the fic it's based off has been taken down. I deliberately wrote this to function as a companion, so with the original gone it's no longer complete. The first 12 chapters are more of a prequel, so it's just the last chapter that will need to be rewritten for it to stand on its own. My goal this month is to firstly reread it so it's fresh in my brain, and then to dig out my notes on it because at one point I did have a full ending plotted out and I'm really really really hoping I wrote it down before I changed my mind about it. ::crosses fingers::

☆ Lastly, I need to sort through the WIP Folder of Doom and pick out my First Quarter fic. Maybe I ought to stick with Pride Goeth, as that's what I've got at least some momentum built up on? But with the unexpected return of Always the Moon to WIP status, I feel like maybe I ought to pick something much shorter. I've got a handful of mostly-written PWPs kicking around that are a much lower wordcount investment than Pride Goeth, which still has something like 8-10k left on it... or maybe I ought to just count my rewrites as my First Quarter fic? I'd love to have it done by then, but that feels like it's maybe overly optimistic. Either way, I'm hoping to have a better idea by the end of the month.

GOALS

2019 Total Wordcount Goal : 1203 / 150,000

2019 Total Writing Days : 3 / 120


JANUARY
I started off 2019 with high hopes of high wordcounts, since I'd finally picked up a bit of momentum at the end of 2018. Unfortunately I spent most of the month feeling pretty under the weather, and didn't get much writing done at all.

January Wrap-Up : I finished the month with only 1203 words which didn't meet my goal of 10k. Most of them were editing words, adding a bit here and there as I read through an old WIP, so really not much in the way of new writing. A total of 2 WIPs got new words, with all 1203 words going into 2 HP fics.


FEBRUARY
The shine of a new year hasn't quite worn off yet, despite the fact that January felt like it took a whole year all on its own. I think that February will be easier. ::crosses fingers and knocks on wood::

February Wordcount Goal : 20k and this might be aiming a bit high, but I'm eager to try to make up some of the words I didn't make in January, and my biggest goal this year is to get FTH finished and posted (finally!!)

February Fics to Focus On
☆ Fandom Trumps Hate : Currently 85,210 words and I've just done a bit of light editing and another read-through. I'm excited to keep going on the chapter I'm writing now, and have already begun to make some new words on it! Estimated total wordcount, 170k.

☆ ex-erised fic (working title) : Currently 62,224 words and unfortunately I've stalled out on it. I'm having a bit of an issue with my pacing and the ordering of some of the next scenes that I think the solution to is going to be letting this thing marinate in the back of my brain for a little bit, sigh. Keeping it on the WIP list because I really do want to get it done, and I'm optimistic that the problem will sort itself out sooner rather than later... Estimated total wordcount, 90k.

Here we are (mostly) at the start of another new year. I'd intended to do this closer to the first of the month, but the last couple of months have been a bit of a roller coaster for me and emotionally I'm pretty much running on fumes by this point. But, we're still in January which is still the beginning of the year, so for now that's going to have to be enough.

( 2018 Fandom Goals )


( 2019 Fandom Goals )

GOALS

2018 Total Wordcount Goal : 73,216 / 300,000

2018 Total Writing Days : 141 / 240


OCTOBER
A few days late this month, but I was traveling so it couldn't really be helped.

October Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 12,027 words which is the second month in a row that I've broken five digits!! \o/ IT didn't really come near meeting my goal of 30k but I knew that was kind of a long-shot. Anyhow, I'm super happy with what I've got. A total of 2 WIPs got new words, with all 12,027 words going into 2 HP fics. Less than 1k of them went into edits on FanFair, and I'm very pleased with myself for how I managed to focus on FTH for the rest of the month :D


NOVEMBER
Setting my goal a little bit lower this month. For a wild minute I thought about doing NaNoWriMo, but I know I'm not going to be able to get anywhere near that wordage and it'll only stress me out, so. No NaNo.

November Wordcount Goal : 10k which still might be a little bit ambitious, considering how I've got Real Life Stuff going on, and I'm on a new medication that's turned my brain into a Depression Rollercoaster (it's interesting, the GYWO spreadsheet puts monthly wordcounts into a line graph, and you can see exactly where it kicked in by how my progress just flatlines, I only managed less than 200 words in the last week and a half of October) and Erised's deadline is in a little over a week so I'm anticipating devoting lots of my usual writing time to proofing fic. But, I know that I tend to not write very much from around Thanksgiving through the end of the year, so I'm going to try to get as much done as I can in the first week or so of November, and we'll see where that gets me!

November Fics to Focus On
☆ Fandom Trumps Hate : Currently 84,392 words and have finished Chapter 5, sent it off to my alpha reader, and got a good start on Chapter 6. Estimated wordcount, 150k.

☆ smutty steggy thing (working title) : Currently 963 words and this is going to be Top Priority for November. MCU Kink Bingo runs through the end of this month, not last month like I'd thought, and I just found out that people who don't complete at least one square won't be eligible to get a new card next round. Estimated wordcount, 4k.

GOALS

2018 Total Wordcount Goal : 47,531 / 300,000

2018 Total Writing Days : 108 / 240


AUGUST
Finally getting around to posting this halfway through the month, which probably says everything about how things are going this month so far. Siiiiigh.

August Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 4599 words which didn't make my goal of 6k but A) came pretty darn close, and B) is more words than I've been making recently! A total of 5 WIPs got new words, with 4149 words going into 4 HP fics and 275 words going into 1 MCU fic which was also a new thing.


SEPTEMBER
Boosting my goal a little bit for this month, since I've got FanFair due soon and I've been making some decent progress on it. Plus I've been feeling more inspired on my FTH fic, so I'm hoping to get some more words down on that one as well.

September Wordcount Goal : 10k which is more than I've been writing lately, but I'm hoping FanFair's deadline will give me the kick I need to get it done.

September Fics to Focus On
☆ Fandom Trumps Hate : Currently 44,020 words and am solidly into Chapter 5 now!! That's right, Chapter 4 is finally finally finished!! Taking a little bit of a break from it to work on FanFair and I think some time apart is doing us both good. Hoping to get back to it later this month. Estimated wordcount, 110k.

☆ HD Fan Fair : Currently ???? words and I have no idea honestly how many words it is because I've been writing big chunks of it longhand.

GOALS

2018 Total Wordcount Goal : 39,250 / 300,000

2018 Total Writing Days : 88 / 240


JUNE
One of these days, I swear, I'm going to post one of these monthly goal posts on the first of the month. One day....

June Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 3402 words which did not come anywhere close to meeting my goal of 20k. I was too excited about my writing success in May that I got cocky. Sigh. A total of 3 WIPs got new words, with 2707 words going into 2 HP fics and another 695 words on 1 MCU fic.


JULY
Lowering my goal for this month... I think I should have some good writing time this month, but Mr FTS and I are house hunting and my brain is having a hard time dealing with all the stress from that, so I don't anticipate getting all that much done.

July Wordcount Goal : 8k which is still more than I've been getting each month, but it feels doable from here. We'll see how it goes!

July Fics to Focus On
☆ Fandom Trumps Hate : Currently 38,801 words and I will finish Chapter 4 this month. I will. Estimated wordcount, 110k.

☆ HD Fan Fair : Currently 302 words and I want to try to get at least enough of it done this month that I can see the shape of it. I'm hoping to keep it under 10k, but I've said that before and been horribly, laughably wrong. Estimated wordcount, 7k.