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Not many new words, but there were words! At this point I will take that. Tough week, busy week, exhausting week. Had one doctor appointment today that I was anxious about, and another scheduled for Friday I'm even more anxious about.

New words this week : 1553 words and it was kind of a struggle.

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
ex-HDBB : 1553 words which brings the total to 104,586 words and though it wasn't too much wordcount-wise, progress was made! Had a scene that was mostly a bunch of dialogue snippets and am slowly working through filling in the gaps and connecting them. Debating whether to write the next half of the scene I'd originally planned or if I ought to just gloss over it, or skip it entirely?? That's part of what's slowing me up here. Also added plans for another half-scene at the end of the chapter.
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I managed to get a little bit of writing done, mostly over the weekend, so just popping in to do a quick WIP Wednesday post before I go collapse on the sofa for the evening. What's that old saying about "time, motivation and inspiration: pick two"? I'm in a phase with tons of inspiration, but the other two have been in pretty short supply and it's been a coin toss which one stops me from writing... Tonight I've got inspiration and time (a whole 30ish minutes before I need to start winding down for bed) but I'm so exhausted that I think I'm going to spend it collapsed on the sofa watching something mindless on tv.

New words this week : 3197 words and genuinely surprised I got even that much! I've been making an effort to write a little bit each day, and I'm always pleasantly surprised by how effective that is for getting some words down. Shocking, I know. If I make time for writing, I get words written!

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
ex-HDBB : 3197 words which brings the total to 103,767 words and that puts me over 100k!! And there is still so so so much left to do that I'm starting to feel a little bit iffy about my estimate... I thought I'd be able to get it wrapped up in another 50k, but at 80-90k-ish we've only just got the Realization of Feelings and the beginning of the Pining and... yeah. Related, how the fuck do I write pining again?? XD

June Goals

Jun. 1st, 2022 02:48 pm
firethesound: (Default)
2022 Total Wordcount Goal : 8219 / 100,000

2022 Total Writing Days : 21 / 365


FEBRUARY-MARCH-APRIL-MAY
So, hello again! Not much writing has happened recently. To be fair, not a whole lot of anything productive has happened recently, either. I need to stop saying "I think things are getting better now!" because as soon as I do, the universe seems to take great pleasure in slapping me down. Life has been a constant parade of little things, punctuated with a big awful thing just often enough that it feels like I can't even find my footing before it gets knocked out from under me again, and I am so, so tired.


JUNE
Things aren't better, but I'm starting to go out of my mind a little bit from the lack of creative outlet so I'm going to try to get back into the swing of writing again.

June Wordcount Goal : 8k and that might be aiming a little high for not having written anything in months and months, but I feel like I want to write for the first time in ages and I'm hoping for some momentum from that.

June Fics to Focus On
If It's Not Rough : because I didn't get anything posted at all last year and I'd love to get at least one thing done this year. Estimated wordcount, 7k.

ex-HDBB : I'd been making some good progress on this before, and I'm hoping to get back to it. I'm still struggling with lack of enthusiasm, which I guess is understandable since I've been reading and re-reading and re-re-reading etc this thing for almost seven years at this point. I tend to do the bulk of my editing as I go and then just do a lot of polishing as my final editing pass, so the first chunk of it is in good enough shape that I've been toying with the idea of starting to post this thing here on Dreamwidth, adding new chapters as I finish them. Ideally I'd get some comments and feedback, and that'd help build enthusiasm and motivation for finishing, then I'd have the whole thing beta-ed and do a last round of edits and polishing before posting it to AO3. I know Dreamwidth is pretty quiet these days and some people don't like to read WIPs, so I don't know if that's even worth doing or if I'd just be hurling words into the void. (If you are interested in reading along, please let me know!) Estimated total wordcount, 150k.
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Anxiety was super high over the weekend so not as much writing as I wish I could have managed, but I had a couple of really good days too so I guess it all evened out. Starting to feel more even the past couple of days so I'm pretty optimistic about February getting off to a good start.


New words this week : 3991 words and feeling pretty pleased with the steady progress.

WIPs worked on this week : 2, with 1 new WIP

HP
ex-HDBB : 3982 words which brings the total to 99,380 words and oh it's exciting and terrifying to be within spitting distance of 100k. I'm going to break that this week and am starting to worry about the overall length of this thing...


Supernatural
grace is a terrible influence : 735 words which brings the total to 735 words and it's not so much a fic as it is a mishmash of dialogue and scene notes and such for two different fics. Grace is to blame for all of it.
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2022 Total Wordcount Goal : 8160 / 100,000

2022 Total Writing Days : 13 / 365


JANUARY
Still tentatively getting back into the swing of it, but so far so good! Just a couple of years ago 8k would've been nothing, but after so long without anything and longer still where every word was a struggle, it feels incredible to have gotten that much down.

January Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 8160 words and frankly I'm pleased to have even got that much. A total of 1 WIP and 1 new thing got words, with 1 HP fic getting 7425 words and then 1 Supernatural fic getting 735 damn it Grace.



FEBRUARY
My biggest goal this month is to just keep this sweet, sweet momentum going. Anxiety is still pretty high right now which makes writing tough, but trying my best to work through it.

February Wordcount Goal : 16k and that feels like a dream to have a monthly wordcount that high. But based on how I've been writing in the second half of January I think it might actually be doable...

February Fics to Focus On
If It's Not Rough : because I didn't get anything posted at all last year and I'd love to get at least one thing done this year. Estimated wordcount, 7k.

ex-HDBB : I've made some really good progress on this so far! I finished off two big gaps in scenes that I've been struggling with since last year, I figured out some pacing/pining, I worked a bit on the ending, I did the Realization of Feelings... lots of good stuff! I also ended up adding some bits that I hadn't planned on, but I'm just so happy to be writing again that I'm not even going to stress about what that might do to the overall wordcount. Hoping to finish off another couple of chapters this month. Estimated total wordcount, 150k.
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Not entirely sure where the last week has gone. I'm still pretty in denial that it's June already. Things are still difficult. I am exhausted. (Are y'all tired of hearing this? I'm certainly tired of saying it...)

New words this week : 230 words and... I guess I'm glad that I had anything at all? The total is actually a little bit higher, I had shuffled off a partly-written scene into a different WIP because I loved what I had but it didn't feel quite right for these characters, and then added some words there, but didn't make note of my starting wordcount so I can't count it.

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
ex-HDBB : 230 words which brings the total to 90,335 words and now that it's not for a fest anymore I can actually say how long it is! I'm anticipating it'll end up somewhere around 150-160k, so, uh. You can see why I felt like the best decision was to drop. XD
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Everything is still really hard. I'm on day 4 of a migraine that I thought was gone, it abated with pretty fantastic timing just in time for a video chat last night, and then this morning it came roaring back. Looking at screens doesn't seem to make it any worse right now, as it sometimes does, so there's that at least.

New words this week : 2553 words and I guess that's not too awful considering I didn't get any writing done for half the week. But still well below the pace I need to be hitting to catch up from not making many words the last couple of weeks.

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : 2553 words which brings the total to 24,781 new words and I've just gone ahead and dropped out. I'm so so disappointed because getting to work with an artist on this was something I've really been looking forward to, now more than ever that my life has pretty much imploded. But what it's come down to is that to finish on time, I would either have to cut down on what I want to do to make it short enough to finish which would compromise the story I want to tell, or I would have to sacrifice literally every available second of free time (and probably quite a bit of sleep, too) in order to get it all written in time, which I've done before and makes for a shitty, stress-filled writing experience, and frankly right now the last thing I need in my life is more stress. So, my new goal is to get it finished and posted by the end of the year. Which, hey, at least means I get to talk about this thing in more detail now that I don't have to preserve anonymity, which I guess is a little bit of a silver lining.
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Things are still hard. I've just been completely exhausted this week so some of my writing time has gone to sleeping instead, and mostly everything has just been a great big struggle.

New words this week : 2108 words and that's unfortunately not back up to the pace I need to be hitting.

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : 2108 words which brings the total to 22,228 new words and I'm at the point of just throwing words at this thing. Are they good words? Useful words? I don't know at this point. Beginning to worry I'm underestimating the final wordcount because I keep coming up with threads I need to tie off and bits I need to expand on. Really beginning to worry about being able to hit 80% by the next check in, and that's with the probably-underestimated wordcount.
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Everything is awful. Mothers Day is always a tough holiday for me so I was already struggling some with that approaching. I had my second vaccine dose and side effects kicked my ass the day after. And unfortunately my cat who was having health issues took a turn and we ended up putting him to sleep. I'm a complete wreck about it. I miss my buddy so much.

New words this week : 1597 words and that's I guess not too bad, all things considered. I haven't written anything since last Friday.

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : 1597 words which brings the total to 20,120 new words and starting to have doubts about hitting 80% in time for the June check in. I was on track to get there only if I kept my current previous pace, and now I've got five zero days in a row.
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Real Life continues to be a thing, unfortunately. I am exhausted.

New words this week : 3571 words and that's down a bit from last week.

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : 3571 words which brings the total to 18,532 new words and it's coming along. I'm still bogged down in one particular scene but I think I've figured out how to make it work, just need to keep hammering at it. Have also had some feedback and that's given me more to think about. It's coming along, hopefully I will make more progress this week ::fingers crossed:: but I have my second vaccine dose scheduled for Saturday and am anticipating it knocking me on by butt, based on how others I know have tolerated it. So. We shall see.
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2021 GOALS

2021 Total Wordcount Goal : 22,883 / 100,000

2021 Total Writing Days : 41 / 120


APRIL
It feels like this month went by in a blink, but it was a productive month! The last half of it I managed to write at least 30 minutes every day and it's always amazing how the wordcount stacks up when I actually... make the time to sit down and write. Obvious, yeah, but something I apparently still struggle with XD

April Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 16,652 words which was short of my goal but by less than 400 words and I'm more than willing to round up and call this month a fucking success! Look at all those words!! A total of 1 WIP got new words, with all 16,652 going into 1 HP fic.

MAY
And the goal this month is to keep up this momentum!

May Wordcount Goal : 18k and I rounded up so it's aiming a bit high to keep me on track for reaching 80% by June 7th. Of the ~17k I wrote last month, 12 of it was in the last half when I really buckled down and made writing every day a habit. So I'm pretty optimistic that I'll be able to do this, so long as I keep on task with daily writing.

May Fics to Focus On
HDBB Fic : I'm in kind of a weird place with it. I'm firmly in the this-is-a-garbage-fic-and-I-am-a-garbage-writer phase of things, and I feel like I'm flailing around and just adding words without adding story, and it just feels too big and too scattered and I'm worried the pacing is all wrong, and why even bother with any of it. But then I read back through it and can't really see any of those issues? Anyhow, I've figured out an alpha reader so hopefully getting some feedback will help sort out what's just in my head and what's actually on the page. Looking to make some big progress on it this month and hopefully get a clearer idea of where I need it to end up to tie off subplots/themes/etc.
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Somewhat less productive than I'd hoped to be, but did all right considering what Real Life threw at me. A minor round of family drama, and then cat health issues. We're still waiting on test results, but the vet warned us that with what we're seeing, the two most likely outcomes are cancer or heart failure, with the vet's opinion leaning towards heart failure. I'm a little bit of a mess over it.

New words this week : 4578 words and that's somewhat less than last week but not by a huge amount. I'm not quite on track to hit my goal for the month, but if I miss it's actually not going to be by that much! Going to try one last big push to get it, though. ::crosses fingers::

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : 4578 words which brings the total to 15,373 new words and it's... coming along, I think. Although I am starting to worry that I've underestimated my total wordcount on this thing. Again. Is anyone surprised by this? XD
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There were words! Lots of words!! I had my first jab scheduled for Saturday so I was trying to get a little bit ahead in anticipation of needing to take it easy for a couple of days, but then I was totally fine aside from my arm being mildly sore for a day or so, and then I ended up just keeping that momentum going.

New words this week : 5458 words and not only did I manage to write every single day in the last week, I also had not one but TWO 1k+ days which is something that hasn't happened in ages.

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : 5458 words which brings the total to 10,795 new words and feel like I'm finally getting traction on this thing. I'm deep into the I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-doing phase of things, and I still am fairly worried over the pacing, and still have not sorted out an alpha reader, but. Words! Lots of new words! Trying to focus on the positives.
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Feeling a little more rested this week which has been a relief. No idea what came over me with the random exhaustion, but very glad to be back to more normal levels of tired. At least I am able to be somewhat productive this way, and I did a bunch of very fun things this weekend with my newly returned energy! I cleaned out the basement pantry! I did laundry! I even did some writing!

New words this week : 2310 words and about half of them were from a single day! The best writing day I've had in months!!

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : 2310 words which brings the total to 5337 new words and I'm making more words on it which is good, but I really feel like I'm floundering. The pacing feels wrong to me and I just keep adding more smut because, I don't even know why, but it doesn't help with the pacing issues I can tell you that. I'm vividly remembering just why this thing has been languishing unfinished for so long, because I am completely useless at writing long things without a ton of handholding and cheerleading, and I haven't had an alpha reader for years. I've actually reached out to a couple of people but one declined and the other hasn't responded, and I'm not too sure what to do at this point. I mean, besides keep adding more smut, apparently, I don't even know. I think I'm entering the "this is a garbage fic and I am a garbage writer" phase of things and it'll pass, I know it will because it always does, but man is it easier with someone else along for the ride.
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Time is meaningless. I spent all day Monday thinking it was Tuesday, and then all day Wednesday thinking it was Thursday. And now today feels like a Friday. I've been brain-meltingly doze-off-on-the-sofa-at-8-pm exhausted this week and it's been rough. But still! There were words!

New words this week : 1946 words and that's actually more words than I thought I'd made on it, woo!

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : 1946 words which brings the total to 3027 new words and I'm at the point with it where I'm able to sit down and immediately jump in and get out a new chunk of words without much struggle. It's a nice feeling.
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2021 GOALS

2021 Total Wordcount Goal : 6273 / 100,000

2021 Total Writing Days : 17 / 120


MARCH
It's been another month, and that's about all I can say about it. Literally. It's basically a blur. What even happened in March?? I have no idea. Not a lot of writing, I do know that.

March Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 1493 words which was short of my goal but by less than I was afraid of! I continue to fail at putting time into writing, since I only wrote for 6 days last month, and again, none of them were lengthy sessions. But a chunk of the month was taken up by re-reading my HDBB fic and then hammering out a loose outline for what I've got left to do. So, there were more days of writing-adjacent stuff, just not word-adding stuff. A total of 2 WIPs got new words, with all 1493 going into 2 HP fics.

APRIL
And the goal this month is once again to get back into the habit of regular writing sessions and I really really mean it this time.

April Wordcount Goal : 17k and I feel entirely unhinged even typing that, considering that's more than twice what I've done so far this year. But with my overall lack of writing time, we've hit do-or-die on HDBB and according to my very rough back-of-the-envelope math, that's the wordage I need to hit for April to bring it to 80% by June. Actually this is somewhat more than I need but I'm assuming that my final wordcount estimate is going to grow. It always does. Anyhow, I always tend to do the bulk of my writing closer to the deadline so I'm trying not to worry too much yet.

April Fics to Focus On
HDBB Fic : I've reread what I've got, I've plotted out what I've got left to do, all that's left is actually writing this fucker. I've reached the point on it of having random bits of dialogue and scene ideas pop into my head during the day, so that's nice that it feels like gears are finally clicking on it. I actually threw another 400 words into it in between typing up this post, so even though there's a lot left to do, I think that I'll be able to get it done on time.
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Kind of a tough week for personal and fandom reasons so while I did manage to write every single day, several of those days were "I'm just going to write one single sentence so I can say I did it" days, which sometimes leads to writing more, but in this case just led to me getting one sentence down. Which is words! New words I didn't have before!

New words this week : 880 words and heeeey an actual number!!

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : 880 words which brings the total to 880 new words and didn't make quite as much progress as I'd hoped wordcount-wise, but I sat down and hammered out a loose outline for what I've got left. There's somewhat more to do than I'd thought there was, and I'm still coming to terms with how much writing I've got left. But! It's done! Used my usual index card method, and have now got a nice tidy stack sitting by my keyboard. Beyond that... I feel like I'm sort of tapping my way around this story, adding a little here, a little there, trying to work out where's the best place to break back into it.
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No idea how many words were added because I am revising, but there were words! There was progress!!

New words this week : ??? words and I'm sure this number is probably barely in the three-digits, but it's words! Two weeks in a row words were made!!

WIPs worked on this week : 1, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : ??? words which brings the total to ??? and I've finished my reread and am ready to begin writing on it! I am excited! And also terrified! I always go through this, when I pick up a WIP that's been lying untouched for a while. I reread and have such a good time, and then finish and go, well crap. How am I going to finish this? This thing is so fucking good and I have no idea how I did it the first time, what if I can't write like this anymore?? I'll work through my nonsense, I always do, but it's always a little rough getting back up to speed.
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No idea how many words were added because I am revising, but there were words! There was progress!!

New words this week : 182 + ??? words and heeey actually having something to report for the week!

WIPs worked on this week : 2, with no new WIPs (yay!)

HP
HDBB : ??? words which brings the total to ??? and I'm just rereading for now, was originally hoping to power through that but unfortunately I have two copies of this--one gdoc and one Word--and made edits to the gdoc, and then when I pulled it out to work on maybe a year ago? I forgot about the gdoc and made edits to the Word copy like the total dumbass I am, so now I'm stuck going through both of them side-by-side, paragraph by paragraph, to catch all the edits and combine them. It's... going. Despite my dumbassery, I'm really enjoying my reread. Had forgotten just how much I'd enjoyed working on this story.

You Send Me 2 : 182 which brings the total to 452 and just jotting down a bit of conversation that I had floating through my head.
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2021 GOALS

2021 Total Wordcount Goal : 4780 / 100,000

2021 Total Writing Days : 11 / 120


FEBRUARY
So, back on January 1--which honestly feels like a million years ago by now--I started off the year with a small kitchen fire (no casualties other than my non-stick pan, thankfully) and I joked that it was hard not to take that as a sign for how the rest of the year would go. AND BOY HAS IT. It's just been one thing after another, and they've all been pretty stressful and upsetting in the moment, but so far (::knocks vigorously on wood::) they've all ended up all right. Like, this weekend my car got broken into. Which freaks me out because it was parked all the way behind my house and not visible from the street and the idea of someone lurking around my house very much creeps me out. But it was about the gentlest break in possible; Mr FTS had left it unlocked, and the thief only made off with about $3 in loose change because I don't keep anything valuable in it after the previous time it was broken into at our last apartment. And like, I'd be willing to write it off as someone desperate, godspeed good sir, I genuinely hope that the handful of change you took helps you out. But this absolute asshole left my fucking lights on, which there is absolutely no goddamn reason for and luckily Mr FTS went out there around 6am so it had been a short enough time that the battery wasn't dead. If this had happened literally any other day of the week we wouldn't have gone out there until the afternoon at the earliest, or more likely not for a couple of days, at which point it very well would have been dead and THAT is what I'm most upset about, because it really feels like a bit of a "fuck you" for not having much of anything in there worth taking.

ANYHOW. Life's been one thing after another like that, and I haven't been writing much as a result.

February Wrap-Up : I finished the month with 699 words which was WELL short of my goal, and the only thing that's giving me hope of coming anywhere near my goal for the year is the sheer lack of hours I've been putting into writing lately. Only four days this month had writing and none of them were lengthy sessions. A total of 3 WIPs got new words, with all 699 going into 3 HP fics.

MARCH
And the goal this month is once again to get back into the habit of regular writing sessions. We're going to ease back into it with a re-read of my HDBB fic, and then hopefully start making words on that. I'm aiming for 30 minutes per night, the toughest part of which is making myself actually sit down to do it.

March Wordcount Goal : 3k and I'm aiming pretty low because I'm anticipating the first chunk of the month will be rereading and going over beta notes from the last time I was working on this thing.

March Fics to Focus On
HDBB Fic : I need to give this a reread and ideally come up with a loose outline for what needs doing to finish it off

Stay : I need to reread the earlier parts to refresh my memory on the details, finish up edits, get it beta-ed, and post it.

You Send Me 2 : which I actually pulled out and poked at a little bit after a couple of very nice comments on the first one. This is basically a smutty little coda about Harry getting un-de-aged that I don't think should run me more than a few k (though, famous last words...)

Only one of those last two is going to get done, to meet my yearly goal of finishing and posting one fic per quarter, and whether either of them gets done at all will depend on how HDBB comes along because I WILL finish my reread of it before touching anything else.

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